You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Three years ago today I was standing next to my mothers hospital bed singing and saying goodbye. My heart feels so heavy sometimes with a deep kind of loss. I lost my best friend. My one true 'confidante'. Someone who wasn't only my best friend, but someone who poured her life into mine every day, even when I rejected or didn't appreciate it... She was my mom. As I write this there are tears rolling down my cheeks. Some tears of sorrow, but so many more tears of joy. I know she is in a wonderful place. A place she would never want to leave. And I am happy because of this...
When the world looses a loved one, it is such a great loss! The world knows not where their loved one is now, nor do they know or understand why this has happened. But when we, God's children lose someone close to us, there is only VICTORY! Jesus has WON! He has CONQUERED death! Jesus has made something so horrible, and devastating into something so glorious, and beautiful! There is no question in my mind why God took my mom. I know God's sovereign plan for my life is perfectly formed... "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 I may not know God's reasons for taking my mom, but I do know that His plan for my life is perfect, and for this reason I can rejoice in His decision in taking her home. I can give Him thanks for giving me this path to walk. For it is the path He gave to me to bring glory and honer to Him. "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious that of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 1:6-7 All I want is that everyone I come into contact with, will see Christ's glory through this "tragedy". I don't want them to see pain, suffering, and devastation. I want them to see joy and victory through Jesus.
No matter what trial we face. No matter what persecutions we go through. There will always be victory through Jesus, and God WILL be glorified through it! Praise God that He can work ALL things together for good! Praise God that He loves us! And Praise God that He will NEVER let us go!!!
14 comments:
Love you, Elisa. Standing in prayer with you today, and in the days to come. You are carrying on her legacy in loving on your siblings the way she loved on you! Can't wait for your reunion someday, but in the mean time, may God give you the strength, grace, and confidence to keep walking strong.
Psalm 31
~1 In You, O LORD, I put my trust;
Let me never be ashamed;
Deliver me in Your righteousness.
~2 Bow down Your ear to me,
Deliver me speedily;
Be my rock of refuge,
A fortress of defense to save me.
~3 For You are my rock and my fortress;
Therefore, for Your name’s sake,
Lead me and guide me.
Remember, Elisa, His ear is *always* bowed down to you. Pour out your heart to Him! He is the Great Comfortor, and He *loves* His children. You are His!
I love you more than you could know, Elisa! I praise God that we get to walk some of life together, and that we'll praise His name together in eternit! May He grant you strenthg and peace for all of your trials. ~Rachel
~24 Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the LORD.
I love you Elisa. You are in my prayers today. I am so blessed by your life and the example you are of trusting your Savior! <3
Elisa,
So strengthened by your testimony to God's loving care for your. I'm blessed to know you and to witness your hurting heart that can still shout victoriously about the triumph of your King. I see faith in you that I wish I had! I know that faith is the result of God's hand that took away your mother and shaped your own heart to be tender to His love.
I love you, dear girl! I love your little siblings, too. What a wonderful mommy you've become to them!
Annie
This is a beautiful testament to your mother. But more than that, your life and who you are carries on a beautiful legacy.
Love and Prayers, Joanna
Elisa,
I was able to view your page through Shannon Dudek's site. thanks for sharing. I just wanted you to know that you and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers!
love, Jody Tellers
This is such a beautiful tribute to your mom, Elisa! She was a wonderful person. I still remember watching her make a french apple pie from scratch when we were about fifteen. I just kept thinking, "Eh, I am going to buy mine!" =) I can just see her baking with you, too!
God bless you!
Chelle Young
Precious One,
I see the love in your mom's eyes when I look at this picture you posted. I know she loved you soooo much.
You don't know me, I went to high school with your mom & her sunny smile is one I capture in my mind's eye often. I just want you to know that you have people ALL OVER the country who you may not even know or have not even met, but, they're praying for you & haven't forgotten her or you! We pray for you soooo much! Hang in there, sweetie! "For I KNOW the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
-Rochelle Steven-Riddle
Oh, Elisa, how blessed it is to know in the deepest places of our hearts, that God's will is perfect, and it is good. It's beautiful to see your contentment and trust; you are an encouragement to all of us.
May you always know God's arms around you--They are around your mom too.
With Love and many prayers,
Sara
Sweet Sister ~
You made me cry... what a beautiful testimony you are of trusting in our Lord! I want your faith! I miss your mom.... I was teaching Caley a piano lesson yesterday and cried through most of it, remembering all those fun times around the piano your mom and I had. Those 4 years of lessons were so sweet - I'm so thankful for them!
Keep trusting in our Jesus - He is holding you! Your mom loved you so much, but He loves you more! As she rests in His arms I know she smiles every time she looks at her little girl walking with her Saviour and walking a life of faith, trust and love.
As you walk through the storms of life let Him whisper to your soul... "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God... you are PRECIOUS in my sight, you are honored and I LOVE YOU." (Isaiah 43:1-4)
I love you too!!
Oh, Elisa, this is beautifully written. And it is so encouraging that you have learned these deep truths at such a young age; so many people allow tragic circumstances to grow a bitter heart in them rather than a deeper love and appreciation for the Lord. So grateful for your testimony of love and growth in the midst of pain.
Hugs from the Isom Clan,
Marie
This was beautiful... I want to stand with you and shout out that God is good! That He is victorious over death!... even as the tears stream down our faces. Thank you so much for sharing the pictures and your heart.
I'm so glad that God brought you into my life. I have enjoyed our talks together; our silly times; our prayers together. I love your smile and I see your Mom in you so much. She would be proud of you. She would be delighted to see your confidence and hope in God. I think she would feel honored to know how many people have been blessed and encouraged by her life and by her death... she ran the race well.
I pray that each day you remember that life is so short and eternity will be ahead of you so soon... and with it, an eternity with your Mom praising a good, sovereign Lord together.
The song by Mercy Me gets me every time... love you forever.
~meredith
Dear Friend.. I thought I wrote on this already.... but know how much I have been thinking about you. How much we sure do miss your mom! I see her so much in you. She would be so proud of you. I love you to the moon.... you have no idea just what a blessing you have been and what an encouragement you have been through the hard days. Keep going. And I miss you.
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